Although I would think it's difficult to entertain entire crowds of people, I have rarely been to a bad show. If you're playing for a crowd who's never heard of you, yes, I think it would be a challenge to win them over. However, if you've decided to dedicate your life to this art, and if you have an existing fan base, it shouldn't be that difficult to satisfy them. As a member of a band, and as a band as a whole, this is one of two major responsibilities of your job. Because it IS your JOB, to entertain the people who paid anywhere from $5 to $60 or even more just to see your ass (the other responsibility is creating good music in the first place, which is how to get said fan base. You don't have many more important tasks in this career, unless you count going onto late-night talk shows, fucking your groupies and snorting free cocaine before/after/sometimes during the show).
Which was why I was so disappointed in the Starlight Mints. They'd already done a fabulous job of the "creating music" part of the job. Their tunes are well-executed, tight, well-produced, fun, catchy, different, energetic, and to be honest it just makes me want to shake my ass. Their website is aesthetically pleasing. They've been around for a number of years (their first album was released in 2000). All of these facts compiled would make it seem like they know what they're doing by now.
However, the show I saw on Monday night was just plum disappointing. Their playing wasn't... bad, per se... but it just wasn't that good. I don't know if it's because I was sober, or if it was because it was a Monday night, for crying out loud, but this show just seemed lackluster. As a whole, their playing was unenthusiastic and predictable. I mean, it wasn't awful, the notes were all there and on-key, but it was was Boring. That's right. Boring with a capital B. They had absolutely no spontaneity whatsoever, save for the "impromptu" conversation between the synth girl and the drummer in the middle of the show, wherein bad jokes were made replacing the word "Virginia" with "vagina." Oh, hilarity. Before that, the chick apologized for having had too much wine before the show. Damn girl, you are hardcore! Unless wine is some kind of new euphemism for heroin, I will now consider you a Mormon band.
And Synth Girl, your very existence, or perhaps presence, in this band tears me up inside. From being a longtime Starlight Mints fan, I expected there to be at least one violinist and a couple of horns onstage. Nope. Any instrument other than a guitar, drums or keyboard was fabricated by the Synth Girl (I actually don't know what she used to make these melodies, I'm just going to call her Synth Girl for now, but I am absolutely open to being corrected.) Even more than one set of vocals was created by this girl. What I'm torn up about is that on one hand, I wish that it was all live music being played, rather than prerecorded or synthesized music from some kind of machine. On the other hand, the sad fact is that this band would be far less interesting without Synth Girl, and also that she plays this machine quite well. Synth Girl, I give you props, although I wish your presence wasn't needed in this band.
And another thing! What is with your mutha freaking video display? The projection behind the band was atrocious. Well, I'm being a little judgmental... but it was bad. It was as if the band had secured a time machine, gone back to 1991 and hired a shitty video "artist" to comprise their projections. Prerecorded closeups of the singer (which did nothing but accentuate the lack of variance between recorded material and live performance), sometimes split-screened and distorted like a fun house mirror, combined with neon splashes of color. Looks like someone just got iMovie! It didn't highlight the music or the band's talent, as good video projections can (and should). I got the feeling that the Mints had hired one of their stoner friends from high school to do this and found myself wishing that they would just fucking hire ME to do the damn thing because there are so many better, more interesting, more stimulating, and more creative avenues to take with video projection, things that you can do to help make your show... hmm, what's the word I'm looking for here? Fun.
The band played for less than 45 minutes, and then did a ONE SONG ENCORE. Guys (and Synth Girl)... come on! One freaking song???
I don't think I was totally alone in my sentiment of disenchantment. The crowd barely bobbed or swayed the entire time, save for one notable girl up front who jumped around and swerved her arms frenetically, raver-style. But I don't think that had much to do with the quality of music being played as much as the quality of gin being served at the bar. For the most part, the audience stood stoically, hands stuffed in pockets, even more so than usual. I could understand this sort of behavior at, say, a James Blunt concert, but with the Starlight Mints I expected some serious jumping, hopping, shaking of asses, SOMETHING. Again, maybe it was because it was a Monday night. But guys... when I can put contact lens re-wetting drops in my eyes with no problem, not even the notion of being nudged crossing my mind... that is one sad crowd.
I don't know if I'm saying I could do better... you know what? Maybe I am. I think that if I knew how to play an instrument and was in an even remotely successful band and had chosen to do this for a fucking living, I would at least try. I would use a show to play more than just the songs on one album (saving the encore for the singular exception). If I was part of a band that I knew was good, and we had been around for a few years, and didn't even have a background song on some stupid VH1 show, let alone legions of fans, I would use the opportunity to play at Bowery Ballroom as a chance to fucking rock out with my cock out, literally if I had to, and I would kick that Monday audience's ASS with great music and play for as long as they possibly let me, or until my fingers bled, whichever came first. I would not look at a New York audience and let them be bored for one single second. I would do what I could to make them excited, make them want to see my band again, and make them realize that they got a fucking bargain.
So, Starlight Mints, although I still like your CDs, I have to say this: I guess there is a reason it is so cheap to see you, even in New York, even at the Bowery Ballroom, even though you've been around for more than 6 years, even though you've put out two solid albums. I had more fun at the Rooney concert. |
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